07 September – Walmart, Owners Meeting and chilling (or should that read sleeping)

Just like other holidays I find myself awake at 4 am local time – probably managing about 5 hours sleep in total. Not a dozy, roll over and go back to sleep awakening but a full on “where’s the bloody fire” awake! So yet again my body clock is a touch squewiff. As I look over the bed (it’s a massive one btw) I note that Pat is also awake, so offer to make a tea – and unsurprisingly she accepts my offer! So, a couple of teas and coffees and a touch of reading starts the day.

I then decide to retry the dongle – the dongle from 3 (the internet providing company) which is usable in “various countries around the world for all your internet needs – without incurring roaming costs” (paraphrased from their advertising blurb….) Several reboots both of the dongle and iPad and computer and still the Wi-Fi signal indicator remains at orange (no not that Internet provider we are talking 3 here – he he he) it’s time to call customer services! The time difference being five hours meaning I will receive the service – well it’s in their advertised working day!

So, I look on the “3” website and get the phone numbers and try to ring. The first attempt fails due to my incompetence, but on the second one I am through and explain the situation. After a few "just putting you on hold for a minute while I look at......” moments she decides she can’t help me – so puts me through to the tech team to walk me through the settings for the dongle. After performing many tasks - including wiping my internet cache etc., changing various settings three or four times, on both the iPad and Computer (“well we must be thorough”) I was informed that the dongle is not compatible with the US signal! So even though in numerous places throughout their website there are references to using your allowance all over the world etc. - "roaming charges suck!!" – All I can say is so does ambiguous and down-right lying advertising.

I am now somewhat pissed off – and I guess she realises this as she offers to put me through to customer complaints department. I now have the pleasure of speaking with “Liz in Scotland” who after the issue was again gone through as there was no real handover – well apart from the call being handed over - although she did have other information her first words were along the lines of – “the complaint - what do you want to solve it!”

As she couldn’t provide me with a dongle that worked - what could she do? I felt that I had been sold a contract that they couldn’t fulfil if I travel abroad, that was after all one of the reasons we had got the dongle – for use down the caravan and on holiday (we go to Spain and USA both covered in their advertising - but in her words the contract is a UK based one - so the international part doesn’t form part of the contract (international roaming....wtf?).

Only thing she could offer would be "half price line rental" whatever that meant. Told her I would deal with on my return. Subsequent to getting home I got the full month’s rental back – I had hoped to be able to cancel the contract (we now have Wi-Fi at the caravan anyway without the dongle) – but that was not to be. Oh well just another year and a bit to pay on that one…

Fortunately, the Fountains has its own Wi-Fi – all be it a two tier one – free for a very restricted and somewhat limiting experience (no email attachments for instance and some websites like streaming ones not accessible) – or the paid for “unlimited” version costing $7.99 A DAY!

Funnily enough I sign on to the free one! Open Google and check the whereabouts of the nearest Walmart and its quite close, and also a 24 hour one! We both have showers and head down to the car, which we find quite quickly. Start the Sat Nav – select local supermarkets – and get direction to the local Walmart. Sat Nav takes us the long route (which we remembered happened last time as well – guess the Sat Nav companies are in cahoots with the gas (petrol)companies. As we pull up, we realise that it’s the same Walmart that we used last time.

Get the wheelchair and then Pat out of the car, grab a trolley, and enter the shop. The whole place is very quiet, so the first shopping trip is going well so far! As we walk around, as usual we are looking at everything – well it sure seems like it! We pick up some rolls, bacon and turkey bacon and some eggs - well that takes care of a few breakfasts! Staying in the chilled area and we pick up some steaks that look gorgeous, and compared to home so cheap. Milk is also going to be needed and makes its way into the trolley. Onto the frozen foods – and it’s a pizza, pockets, potato chips (fries) etc. –Into the main grocery area and we grab the usual suspects, cookies, crisps (ok chips) couple of t-shirts (in grocery? – ED), case of water, a few bottles of Coke (of the less fattening variety I should add) and a case of beer! (not of the less fattening variety I bet – ED)

As we stand at the till, we look at the trolley and try to guess what we might have spent! I over estimate by a long shot although Pat seriously underestimates. However even with the post-Brexit vote Sterling blues (someone really should write that song – ED) it is still good value. With the bags packed (done at the till by the cashier and a revolving empty bag holder) we head back to the car – driving “home” via the scenic route again!

Arrived back at the Fountains – and no surprise in that the “blue-badge” parking spaces are still full! Mind you it is still relatively early in the day! It takes two trips even with Pat being overladen in the wheelchair (on the first trip) – but everything makes it way upstairs and is unpacked and placed into the correct storage area within the apartment. We are feeling very hungry now – so Pat decides on the cooked breakfast – only issue is that we didn’t pick up any oil – so the egg is fried dry – not the best culinary effort, but it is enjoyed with a certain amount of gusto! As I take a bite of my butty the egg explodes out all over my shorts! Finish the meal and a quick change is required. 😜 We load the dishwasher - yes, the apartment has all the mod-cons – and only use half a packet of the powder which is provided by Bluegreen as it is very good for the environment. Dishwasher is started and we head off for the meeting

Fortunately, the meeting area is back over the road where it had been the first time Pat and I had gone, in fact in 2005 it was the full hospitality suite area – but now just the centre of the timeshare business! A gentle stroll and a push of the wheelchair, and we arrive with 10 minutes to spare. We were handed a form to review and the details that they had for us were horrendously incorrect. Takes a few minutes to change almost everything – oh including the phone number which doesn’t look like any number I have ever had – and I have had a few over the years! After amending I sign it (there was a tiny area on the paper which didn’t have any of my handwriting on it – so I signed there!

We are asked to take a seat – and we sit down expecting a longish wait. However, after about four minutes a young guy called Andrew walks over introduces himself, and then took us through to the interview area (for want of a better word – although interrogation block might be the one, I am looking for) ;-).

He is very chatty – loving our British accents, and for someone who has never been out of the US was quite knowledgeable over things UK. Especially Brexit – which he finds very strange. He needs to “go off” and "grab our account" but after a couple of minutes someone else came over. The account details are not something that Andrew can actually speak to us about due to privacy issues - so he had to go through it with us. Looked amazed when he "spotted" the offer that we had been made back in 2014 – and we were asked “why did you reject that amazing deal?”

“Wrong time - for us, a bit like now really with the fall in Sterling due to Brexit” I replied.

“Ahhh ok”, was his final words as he gets up and walk away. As he leaves the area he stops to "chat" with Andrew which was in my line of sight. He is animated in his chatting style unlike while he was talking to us.

Andrew returns to the table and in somewhat of a disinterested way asks “so how can I help you guys today?"

"We were told we had to come....." but was interrupted before I could finish (for the news updates etc.)

"Well if you are not bothered about the incentive we can get this over real quick - I will get the girl over and you can sign her form and be on your way" he sneered at us.

She came over – I was somewhat bemused and angry - but also relieved that it would end. I signed the form and we left @ 11.40!

What is kind of the issue here, apart from what to me is exceptionally bad manners, is that we were made to feel somewhat useless and not worth spending the time over, something which having been the head of a customer service team in a financial institution would probably had the person on the wrong end running to the press.

Still in total we have wasted 30 minutes or so – and didn’t get the $75 dollar debit card that we had last time to spend – we are now free to enjoy the holiday – and also didn’t have to put up with the hard sell that truthfully, I had been expecting.

Through the door – saucepan on (why oh why no kettle – lol) tea made, quick ciggy and take a look at the dishwasher, which has finished its cycle. Trouble is nothing is clean at all so maybe it needs the full packet, but that can wait as the sun – she is calling me….. ok, actually, she is calling us! Her and her mate the pool together – and you know what two women are like! I might regret writing that….

So, change into costumes (might add wasn’t allowed to wear the clown one – although with my legs and body how can you tell?? Ha ha ) and head down poolside. Now a little bit of architectural information probably required here – the lift lobby is split over the depth of the building, with two lifts at the front of the building going down (from our level – although can go up if so required) to where the cars are parked, and there is one lift at the back to go down (or up – blah blah) to the pool area. As I have written all this – remembering we have stayed in this block before – you will probably have realised which lift we took, requiring a re-entry and an up and over and down. For goodness sake stop with the sniggering….. So, taking the roundabout route we find the very scenic area that is the pool!

We find a couple of lounge chairs (there are loads all over the place - so not really “finding” in the true meaning) in the non-smoking area as Pat had decided that she would leave her ciggy tin upstairs. Now as you might have realised from the times quoted in the earlier paragraphs of the day – we are now sitting in the sun – at just past midday. So funnily enough it is getting a bit warm. Well actually warm does not cover it – let’s say I am beginning to become well done – probably from the inside, yes, it’s that hot! Looking at Pat I can see she is feeling in a similar vein, so we decide it’s time to dip our feet in the water (plus the other parts of our anatomies!).

So, we go over to get in pool walking round to the chair that lowers Pat into the pool, rather than her diving right in – oh wait – silly me – rather than going down on her bum and shuffling over to the side and dropping herself down. I try to get it to work (it is water driven so it really should be easy to operate) pull a pin – turn a handle and depending on which way you turn the handle, and the position of the chair it goes up or down. However, for neither love nor money will the bl@@dy thing move in any direction! So, it’s down to plan b – b standing for the bum she uses to get in the water - ha ha.

The water has an immediate cooling effect – and as we enjoy the cool I notice a guy who had seen us struggle with it, (he was sitting on a lounger about 10 yards away) go over and play with it – and it works – he gives me the thumbs up – so it was obviously user error.

As we continue to be soothed by the chilling reaction of the water we start to chat with an American lady who is also enjoying the thrills of the water. She began the chat in a very normal way when we are in Florida with a comment about loving the British accent. That always makes me smile but as we chat she informs us that she is here celebrating her wedding anniversary – only hubby has meetings to go to! Mixing a business trip with a pleasure one perhaps – tee hee. Nothing like putting a holiday on company expenses.

As the refreshing water begins to lose its appeal – ok the chilling effect goes a little too far perhaps – we head over to the poolside and the chair to get Pat out and the American guy that had done the business for us tells me what to do - and hey presto Pat is back poolside, and at a height that won’t cause her issues. I go and grab her chair and thank him and we chat for a bit, again he recognises the accents – ha ha.

We head back to our loungers – and now Pat would like a ciggy. I go back to the apartment – retracing the earlier journey – although without the scenic route out to the front part and grab her tin which has as few rolled up ciggys in it fortunately – the tin on its own would be useless, then come back over and take her to the nearest smoking area – which just so happens to be beside the bar. Well, it would be rude not to partake….so my manners force me to imbibe a very refreshing Budweiser light, Pat having a cool coke!

Back to the loungers again to grab more rays – and all of a sudden – well to me it appears that way - it is just past 2 and Pat and I are both feeling the heat and a touch of tiredness. We head back to the apartment and have a cup of tea and a diet coke for me, taking things through to the bedroom and within minutes Pat and I both fall asleep. Pat wakes before me and reads for a bit – so she tells me later. She probably had a ciggy or two, but I cannot confirm that.

I awake and its now very dark – and almost 9 o’clock! So, as you have guessed, the good old body clock is well screwed again! Both of us are feeling hungry – so make a lightish meal of pockets and potato thingies (mini croquette type pieces of seasoned potato) can’t remember the real names but thingies cover it – ha ha ha. We add all the washing up to the dishwasher put full packet in – but select light rather than heavy wash – and before I can change it the bloody thing starts and that is that!

Head back to the bedroom for usual evening activities – stop it!!! – attaching the computer to the television – and decide to watch the “Divergent – Allegiant” (something to do with being old I think – not choice of film but our activities – oh madam!!) As the film finishes, I look over and see that Pat is fast asleep again, so everything goes off and I read for a few minutes before I too join the land of Nod!