Elephants, Monkeys, Fire and Dance make an interesting combination - 23 February 2008

Wake early again as it is going to a very busy day – probably the busiest of the holiday. We are going to the elephant park today, followed by the fire dance. Followed by a meal organised by Simon – Mr Scuba himself.

Everything has been arranged before we left (well with the exception of the meal!) by Mista Paul, well he gets the "mista" billing just for today!

Showers etc and off for breakfast, and then to reception to await the coach. We are leaving at 9 and everyone is there in good time – guess the excitement has got to us all. Kids have all eaten as well – amazing that they are able to get up early ervyday on holiday – s'funny cos I'm sure that I was told that a teenager has to go to bed late and get up even later! Perhaps the time difference has something to do with it – I just don't know!

We all pile on the coach as it arrives, everyone looking like a kid at Christmas. The coach journey is about and hour and a half as the park is about 20 mins further north of Ubud. Once again we are wowed by the scenery. We arrive at the park – it looks amazing. We disembark and wait while the guide sorts out all the paperwork. As we enter the park it is a mix of local carving and woodwork – allied to Australian know-how. The park was built and is owned by an Aussie! They might not have much culture – but they sure know how to run an elephant park.

We walk through a well laid out park, down to a large man-made pond – with a heightened walkway. We are instructed to form a queue here, and soon the first of the elephants arrive. We are going to have a ride on them. John and I start snapping photos of people getting on the elephants, and beginning their twenty minute or so ride round the park. While we stand awaiting our turn the representative of the park is explaining loads of things – like the elephants are the smallest of all elephants. Well they look bloody huge to me! Soon it is just Su and John , and Anita and I to get on.

Let me explain something I'm not very good with heights – in fact I'm shit with them to be truthful. Anita climbs into the chair, and it's my turn. Well as I reach out my leg – I look down! Suddenly I go all giddy. In fact I have a feeling of severe sickness. I try again – this time not looking – but as my leg goes out I shiver. "I'm sorry" – I said – " there's no way I can do this!" the park rep and guide look very worried – but believe me no as worried as I was. "No way I can do it – you'll have to go on your own". Now I know I paid for the ride but there was no way I could get on it. It might only have been 10 feet to the floor – but I was really really scared. The elephant's handler starts to get the elephant to walk away from me – much to my relief.

The park rep advises me I'm not the first to falter – nor will I be the last! – but he can't offer me my money back! But he can take me on a walkabout tour of the park – and his new hotel that they have just opened. Well we walked for maybe five mins – and then found the hotel – he took me into a basic room – only it was of higher quality than the room we had in the hotel. Each room is fully kitted out – much like the apartment we have had in Florida the last couple of times we have gone, at the Fountains. Difference is there is more space in the rooms here in Bali – and in each room there is a 50inch flat screen TV. The fridge is a walk in one – well it was taller than me, and twice as big!

As I look out from the veranda – WFSAC on elephants appear so I take more piccies of them. As they continue on their journey the rep advises me that if we stay at the hotel here as you awake and feel like breakfast you call reception – and an elephant arrives under the veranda and collects you and takes you to the restaurant. Once finished he (or she!) will bring you back. The same goes for lunch and dinner as well if required. Wow great for normal residents but crap for me with my head for heights!

We reverse our steps and arrive back the big pool – just in time for the first WFSAC elephant to arrive. There is a photo opportunity for everyone – well the park takes a photo of you on the back of the elephant, and then sells it to you, either as a photo, or a t-shirt etc. In most cases they also offer to take your camera off you and take a picture using that – which I think is very good of them. I am snapping away as best as I can, as everyone comes in.

You then get a chance to have your pictures taken with the elephants as they rest a touch – so we get all the kids together for a group photo. In fact loads of photographs are taken, and many elephant petted.

We the walk around to a large open area – which is where the elephants will put a show on for us. Firstly they show us a few tricks, many of which we have seen in circus's etc. Like playing basketball, and stuff. When a volunteer is called for, little Andrew is pushed forward, and he is the star of the show – well apart from the elephants. They continue with a few tricks – like walking on their hind legs, holding onto an elephant in front. We are then shown a couple of elephants that can paint. I'm not talking Picasso here – cos actually they are better than him – hehe. Once they have finished with different colours, the pictures are shown. We are advised that these pictures – well ones similar to the ones that we have witnessed being created – are available for sale in their shop. It is then that I realise that I have seen similar paintings hanging in the rooms that I was lucky enough to visit earlier!

We are then led to the restaurant area, which also has a shop for purchasing loads of goods elephant and non-elephant related. A fridge magnet is picked up here by me – for the manageress of the local hostelry in Docklands close to where I work. She is an avid collector of these – and had asked me to get her one. So I did! We look at the prices of the paintings but most were US$60-100 – a touch of a large price – almost an elephant sized one! Anita and I – OK actually Anita buy some more nik-naks - thinking as always of birthdays in the future and of course Christmas. Once everyone has bought everything that they want – we go back to the coach, through the lovely surroundings of the elephant park. As we approach the entrance to the park there is an elephant museum with a large mammoth skeleton in the middle. We go around and view all the wonderful things – but are not allowed to take any photographs here!

Back to the coach, and everyone hops on. The journey back is relatively quick, or though it is on the road home that we witness a very romantic event. As we drive through one of the towns we see two mopeds side-by-side in front of us. As we get close we note that the two riders are actually riding along holding hands! Amazing – especially as there wasn't any one else on the bikes -

As we get back to the hotel everyone is feeling a little warm – so it is back to the rooms, a quick change and straight into the pool, with a small detour to the bar! The afternoon is spent enjoying the water – and the liquids available. The highlight (or actually the lowlight!) of the afternoon occurs when while monkeying around big Andrew decides to fall into the water. No problem there I hear you cry – he can swim – but unfortunately his mobile phone cant! He rises from the waves (ok a little poetic licence taken there) – he quickly jumps up – but the phone is very damp – well actually soaked. He quickly tries to dry it – and takes it apart to let everything dry quickly in the warm. Lets just say that he phone wasn't the same after – and was changed at the first opportunity – which happened to be when Lauren's contract had to be renewed a couple of months later.

The afternoon wizzed by and we all depart back to rooms to get ready as we are now out to go to a special temple at the southern tip of Bali called Pura Luhur Uluwatu, where there are many monkeys that live in the grounds of the temple, and where we will watch the sunset as we are being entertained by a kecak dance performance.

Again we get into the coach, and about 50 minutes later get off it – and walk a little way towards the temple. As with all temples in Bali dress code is very important. Everyone in the group is given a yellowy/gold sash to wear – as a sign on respect, and those of us that have not covered our knees are given purple wrap-a-rounds to wear. Some of our group are obviously used to wearing this kind of evening wear.

The guide also advises us to pick up a stick or two each – as the monkeys can be very nasty once you get up to where they are. He is a touch over cautious I must admit – they are bit mischievous but not violent to any of us – ah with one exception that will be recounted later.

The walk up the cliff is very tiring even for some of the fitter of the youngsters – some of us oldies are finding it quite difficult. Cathy is a real trooper here, taking it at a fair pace - which must have caused her problems. It is a long climb, but she doesn't complain. As we stop every so often we are met with fantastic views, and everyone takes a few good photos of the temple at the top of the cliff.

Suddenly we are at the top – over 250 feet above sea level – looking down on a fantastic beach with loads of monkeys around. Although we have sticks we don't seem to really need them. As we get towards the top we see a monkey with a pair of sunglasses – apparently trying to eat them! I heard about getting iron in your diet – but glass?

Turns out they are not just any glasses they are Marks and Spencer glasses – sorry wrong advert! Actually the glasses in question belong to a certain aussie person in our group and they are not your knock off sunglasses from the back streets of Bali – but prescription ones from UK – and very very expensive. She is trying to tempt the monkey with food – but no joy! He takes a bite – and then launches the glasses down the cliff side when he realises that they don't taste good. Part of me – the glasses wearing person that I am feels sorry for her – but not for long. (I think I must an evil person for that comment – or then again maybe not!)

We are shown towards an amphitheatre and take some seats. As we sit and wait for the entertainment (ok the human entertainment rather than the monkey one!) to begin people begin to fill the auditorium. The ushers are trying to get us all to sit closer, and more and more people turn up. Soon the space that we had is all used up – and everyone is sitting very close to their neighbours.

We are to witness a Kecak dance, which is basically telling us the story of Ramayana, enacted by dancers in wonderfully colourful outfits, accompanied by a male chanting chorus, that can be upto 250 stong.

As the sun drops lower down in the sky a troop of maybe 100 men enter the arena, wearing long shorts with the black and white towels wrapped around them. They begin to chant – it is an eerie sound almost hypnotising – and they continue for maybe 15 minutes. Nothing else - the sound of their chants reverberating around. Then the other members of the dance appear – and we are treated to a fantastic show. The chanting complimenting the dancing and vice versa. We are told the story of the great Hindu love story

The performance is stunning – both visually and aurally, so much going on – its difficult to follow exactly where to look. A bright fire is lit in the middle on the "stage" – and one of the performers kicks it around - the embers flying in the dusk sky! Amazing! As the sun sets – no we are not on fire – but the sky appears so – a very iconic moment on our holidays.

The dancers become almost frenzied in their movements – almost as if the hypnotism has taken them one level above us. As the sun sets the performance ends – how did they manage to time that so well? Will we ever forget that chanting. 100 men's voices as one – hypnotic and soulful in the same breath.

We all go back to the coach, funny thing is that our journey down is very easy. We do not use the route that we had to get up, but a winding easy route, probably ten minutes long rather than the 45 minutes it took us to get to the top of the hill. Would have been so much easier for all of us – but especially Cathy!

The driver of the coach then takes us back towards the hotel – but we are stopping off for dinner, going to a restaurant on the beach. The downside of this is that the restaurant serves one type of food only – seafood! Not my idea of fun, but as we were all going seemed like it would be rude not to go. We are led through the restaurant, to a long long table on the beach. As we sit down they take our order for drinks – hey I said I didn't like seafood – but the drinks were a different kettle of fish!

I sit, and then the person to my left sits – and would you believe it but is the obnoxious aussie! Everyone orders a drink, most of us going for beer – or coke, or a spirit with mixer, - or come to that a smoothy – only she decides to have a bottle of wine, and a beer! Hey don't get me wrong no problem there only that as the bill is being split equally it could be seen as taking the piss! (oh more of his anon.)

Funny thing is she spills almost a full glass of wine into her plate of seafood. Everyone had been given a plate that was piled high – and I mean high with various fish – from crab to dolphin fish etc. Some just cuts of fish – others kebabs – almost made me wish I ate fish ok maybe not! She decides that she doesn't care for the fish with the alcohol sauce – so as my plate was going spare I offer it to her. She declines – but takes another plate from down the table! I would say bitch – ok sod it I'll say bitch!

Most of the kids each a little – but the older ones decide that they will grab a a cab and go clubbing again. Well Andy, Lauren, Dale and Emma decide to go and make a night of it. I couldn't believe it – what with having already put so much into the day – but then again I'm not as young anymore

A little row breaks out over the bill – and a few people get a little pissed off – people that I would not have expected to – and some that you knew it was going to happen! Cut a long story short (bloody hell that's a first!) the bill is paid.

Everyone consumes their food, and drinks their drinks, and those of us left reboard the coach and are returned back to the hotel. Tiredness appears no factor as we all decide to head for the bar for a nightcap! I arrive first – and am in the "buying" seat. As everyone enters the bar area I ask what they would like, and most people accept the invitation, and have a drink – with one exception! Have a guess who do you think would refuse? Yes you are right Ella – aussie bitch supreme. Let's just say she pissed me off – and that actually took some doing on the holiday as I was by now feeling very relaxed. So she had pissed two members of my family off within the space of about an hour! (mmmm wonder who the other one was – and what it might have been about – ooooh maybe a bill perhaps!)

Fortunately she leaves shortly after – so the end of the evening is not spoilt. Funnily enough it doesn't take a great deal after the day we have had, and soon, all too soon we are all heading off for bed. Tomorrow is due to be a long day – well a long couple of days, being as how the end is nigh!

Should be mentioned that the kids club – sorry the clubbing kids – did return at some point during the night – exactly when I am not sure.