About Me

The Early 80's

The New Year arrives and I was a single man again, so I began to look around for new opportunities, and literally fell into another relationship completely by mistake. However, that was still a couple of months away.

Being single some male friends and I began to go down to the Green Man on a Sunday lunchtime - for a couple of pints, with some female flesh thrown in (strippers!) followed by a good meal at a cheap restaurant just around the corner in Leytonstone High Road. Ahhhhh for restaurant read greasy joe's café! Good cheap food that is perfect after a boozing session!

One particular Sunday - we arrived ready for the entertainment - only to find the assistant manager playing the records, with two really pi$$ed off strippers. The normal DJ had not shown up - and the assistant manager had taken over - but wouldn't use the mike so the girls were not being announced, and the atmosphere was somewhat strained. I walked straight up to the governor - gave him a business card with my details on it - and very brashly said if you need a DJ I could be your man.

He nearly bit my arm off - and asked me to take over immediately. Walked up - introduced myself and got to work - using the club's records after all mine were at home - I'm good not god. The strippers were happy - especially as I was announcing them - and getting people to add money to their pots, as they walked around as i was referring to them by name (well probably their stage names ha ha). Danny the manager (governor) would not hear of me buying a drink - and when I finished the lunchtime not only did I get a clap (from the crowd not the strippers!!) as a few of the punters said I improved it with my enthusiasm, I was also paid a nice wedge. Danny took my card and said he would ring me if he needed me again.

That evening we walked in ready for another drinking session - and Danny came over to me and introduced me to Bob who was the DJ that had missed the lunchtime - and was there for the club night. Bob was very grateful - and also took my details. He asked me if I would like to do the Sunday morning slot for him the following week as he was sure that the same female reason he had not been able to get out of bed to leave would also be with him next weekend. I said yes - and he told Danny, who was fairly happy. Not sure who had the biggest grin me cos DJing or Bob cos he was getting his end away.... (again...)

On the Thursday I got a call from Bob - asking what I was doing on Friday. The Green Man had a sister pub in the chain called Flamingos - which was on the Hackney Marshes. Apparently, the other club used two DJs as it didn't close until 2am - and one of them had walked out the week previously. I was asked to go for an audition on that Friday - and they would see how it went.

When I got to Flamingos that Friday - there were three other DJs auditioning - a fact that Bob had forgotten to mention! Anyway - cut a long story relatively shorter I got the gig - working with Chris, who's other job was as a hairdresser. While we were talking over the DJ job - and how we would split the dosh, he offered to do my hair for me - a proper cut as he put it. Now I wasn't that bothered - but it was a freebie - so thought what the heck. When I arrived at his shop on the Saturday he got one of the juniors to wash my hair - and then cut it. Not too bad I hear you say… well he then said that a little colour would help - and before I could say anything I was suddenly the proud owner of shock of bright red hair! Not ginger, not light red - but bright red! Now the bank didn't mind about my earring - but red hair! Monday morning and I am called into the manager's office and advised that although I was due to join the cashiers that would have to wait until the colour had grown out. Could have been so much worse I guess!

There were two guys on the door at Flamingos - and they immediately made me feel at home - but also informed me that it was part of my job to notice anything a little untoward and let them know. They would look after me if I looked after them. Within a week or so - it was second nature to look out for them - and on a few occasions, we helped each other out. Pat and Alex were great guys, a good team and saved me a few times, as did I for them

For the next month I am doing Sundays at the Green Man with the strippers and Friday Nights at Flamingos, and the Bank during the week. I also get an invite to the main center for the pub chain - which is the Circus Tavern, and go for a staff get together there. It was a good night and I meet the big boss for the first time. He spends some time talking to me - saying he had heard good things about me from Danny, Bob and Chris. It was also here that we heard that Flamingos was going to be shut for a refurbishment, so my work would begin to dry up a touch. I was assured that they would try and find me more work, and not to worry too much.

It was also at this time that I was looking after my Grans flat - she had moved from the massive house of my early childhood and lived in Barkingside in a flat. She had a cat - and she had decided to go to South Africa, to visit her other son, my uncle and his family, for a few weeks and I would look after the cat. It worked out really well - it was no problem and it was great to have a place to myself for the first time in my life. She decided that later in the year she would go out for 3 months although it was delayed until the following spring!

So life begins to change for me. A couple of the guys want to go to the Green Man on a Thursday as they had heard that older women were falling over younger guys there, so we turned up, and I even got them in without being charged, mainly thanks to Pat and Alex who were now looking after the door here, as Flamingos was shut.

A few drinks - and the guys had actually got off with a couple of older ladies, but I was just holding up the bar, chatting to the bar maids. This lovely lady came over to me - and asked if I was the DJ from Flamingos - and we began to chat to each other. Seems she used to frequent the club, although I could not place her. She was a sexy lady - even at 40 she was a real looker - lovely blonde hair, with a great body. That evening we said good night - and she drove off, me never expecting to see her again. During Saturday morning Deborah called me and asked what I was doing tonight. I had planned to go out with the guys - but said that I was probably washing my hair! She laughed and said would I like to join her and a few friends as she was having a party.

I arrived as requested - and after a night of drinking - and chatting - she took me to the Green Man for my lunchtime spot. She stayed - although she didn't come on to the stage. Alex tried to chat her up - but was put down big-time. After I finished we jumped in her car - and she asked if I fancied a trip to the seaside? She said she had a holiday flat in Brighton (close to where Kate's mum had hers) and had to drive there with a new chest freezer, which just so happened to be in the boot of the car!

So we drove off, arriving at tea-time. Chest freezer inserted into kitchen, and then we went and had a meal at a very posh restaurant! That night we stayed together - and we drove back into London at 3 am - arriving at my parents' house in time to grab a quick shower, change of clothes and then work. Oh to be young again!!

During the day Deb rang me probably three times - and it was decided that I would grab a few shirts socks etc - enough for the week - and she would pick me up and drive back down to Brighton. For the next couple of months that was my life - week nights in Brighton after working in London - back on Saturday - then pub and drive back. It might sound wonderful - we did not really have a relationship - don't get me wrong it was nice to be a kept man - but I began to feel quite lonely - although I was travelling by train from Brighton to London during the week - some days she had to remain in London - or go to her other offices in Birmingham. I missed my friends, and doing normal things. I realise that we are going nowhere - but when I tried to talk with her she blows up big time. Tells me I should be grateful - so at that point there is a parting of the ways. It had been fun - but she begins to stalk me. Now I know that sounds a little over the top - but I could not go anywhere without seeing her. Fortunately, she does not keep it up - and then disappears out of my life quite quickly after. To this day I have no idea what happened to her - probably found herself another young man…..

Timing is quite good though - as Bob has decided that he wants to leave the Green Man and Danny asks me to take over Fridays - there will be no band just me - and Saturdays with the band, who have changed personnel and their name! Funny thing is the week before I am due to take over Danny is sacked - and a new Governor comes in, and wants me to take over anyway. Tim is his name - and he is married to Jackie and although he thinks he wears the trousers - she is the real power in the pub!

Fridays suddenly go crazy - from a couple of hundred punters - we are packed out every single Friday evening. The music also changes a touch - I manage to get a little more dance stuff in - rather than being primarily just chart music. I will continue with chart music - but prefer the more danceable music. It is during this time in my life that my friends begin to change - most of my school mates leave the area well those that didn't go to uni - and my main group of friends are replaced by the guys at the Green Man - I have a following (kind of) and we are known as Rentamob. Prime movers in this group are myself, Paul (Chappers) and Steve. Sunday lunchtimes are a blast - and we now either go to the Underground staff restaurant for lunch (Chappers works for the underground!!) - or to Steve's parents for bacon and egg butties… Over time more and more people join the gang - it's a real blast. Can honestly say we know how to party - and how to do it hard!!

The Friday nights are going great - and we are trying a few different things. Once we decide to have a fancy dress party - with Super Heroes as the theme. Everyone working had to dress up - and there are some great costumes. On the door the amount of people working has had to increase, and we now have a team of four main doorman, Pat and Alex, and Pete and Terry. Pete turns up in a Superman costume - looking every inch the part. Being a bouncer he is very muscular, and also tall. Now I should explain the layout of the club, there was a stage, with a raised dance floor just below - with a barrier around the dance floor, with circular tables, with small stools around each table. A fight breaks out on the dance floor, and I call security to it very quickly, using the keyword that tells the doormen it could get out of hand quickly. Pete is standing at the door - and looks over, and without much thought runs over - placing his right foot on a stool, his left then on the table, and takes off to get over barrier, onto the dance floor. However, from my vantage point it looks like Superman is flying in to the fight! Another Kodak moment lost forever (wish I could put a camera in my mind oh wait - probably not too good an idea…..)

Sportswise I was playing football on a Saturday Morning, and again on Saturday afternoon for the MOD as the captain is an old school mate (Dennis), and Sunday mornings for the sports centre and Sunday evenings for the five a side team! I was probably the fittest I would ever be in my life - and funnily enough I was smoking the most I ever had in my life too!

Being a successful club DJ (ok a DJ in a successful club) ladies began to flock towards me - and yes I will admit a few occasions I might have taken advantage. Of course unknown to me all DJs at the time appear to be perverts or somesuch - me I just liked the ladies……that are above the age of consent and do actually consent!!

Another “funny” event relating to female company. There was a group of girls that hung around Rentamob - and Steve was seeing one. He went away on holiday without her - and over the space of the week she “saw” three other members of the group. Now I have to hold my hands up and say I was one - and that I was guilt ridden as being with a mate's girlfriend is not such a good thing. Would like to point out that a large amount of beers had been consumed and it was a real spur (sperm??) of the moment event.

He returns from his holiday - but she is worried that he might find out about her actions. However she has worked her magic big time - as he is all distraught over a “miscarriage” that was totally in her mind. He gets very emotional so Paul and I try and talk with him - informing him that she is not worth it. He storms off to think over things. Steve returns and finds out that she has been naughty while he was away, and decided to take it out on the first person he can find - ME! So he runs over - and hits out - striking me on my forehead.

Now one thing that can be said I have a very hard skull - and I can hear as the punch lands, a crack. First thought - bummer - he has fractured my head - but then turn to see him in agony. Now I'm thinking - f**k me he's hurt. I bend over and try and help him, as he has fallen to his knees with pain. Take one look and his hand is expanding at a great rate of knots. “You need to get that looked at” comes out of my mouth. He looks shocked and then asks if I will go with him to the hospital! We jump in his car and head off - and arrive and I get him in at A&E. When we are seen, he has broken numerous bones - and needs it to be plastered. The others have turned up so I leave them to it. So it is true - I really do have a thick head!

Another silly event that sticks in my mind was when one of the groups that seem to enjoy breaking things - but can only do it in a large group came and paid a visit to the Green Man on one particular Friday night. Alex and Pat also looked after another pub on a Tuesday that had a very heavy rock evening, and had got talking with a group of bikers that were there. The bikers were at the Green Man on this particular Friday, enjoying a drink or two with Pat and Alex. When the first of the fights broke out - they stood at the door, as the doormen dealt with the issues in the Pub. The yobs were ejected outside, and the doors shut. The bikers were ok - they had not got involved, just stood by as the doorman did their business. Well they did until the group tried to break its way back into the pub, picking up what they could find to break windows etc. One of the idiots (sorry can't use a better descriptive word for him) ripped a helmet off a motorbike and proceeded to throw it. Unfortunately, it belonged to one of the main men in the biker group. At that point they told the doormen to open the doors, let them out, and then shut the doors behind them. I can honestly say the furious five (bikers) absolutely destroyed the 20 yobs - much to our amusement it must be said!

Rentamob is a very major part of my life now - we do everything together - they are there as back up to the doorman if things occur and we all look out for each other's backs. When we are not clubbing we are partying - females come and go (ooh er madam….) but I am beginning to feel a little lonely again - needing something more than a one night stand (or lay down - or bend over ……. You get the gist!)

Sue and David although not part of this scene are still major friends, and set me up with a blind date. Now with my luck she probably would have been blind - but I think that Sue would have felt very responsible if that had happened. Celia was a breath of fresh air. Sue had become a nurse - and was studying at the London hospital - yes same place as my mum had worked at - and Celia was a close friend on the training. There were three girls together, Sue, Celia, and someone who's name escapes me. The third of the group had a boyfriend, and obviously, Sue had David, but I was invited in to make up the numbers on a night out - although Sue thought that Celia and I would get on well.

Celia was very cautious about meeting me - but we hit it off as friends really quickly. After the first meeting, we went to a Party together - with Dave and Sue obviously, and I found her very easy to get on with. We began dating - and although she was staying in the nurse's home found some time to be together. I really thought that she could be the one for me - she made me feel alive again like Siân had earlier in my life - and I kind of hoped that we could take it on - and get married. Life has a way sometimes of kicking you - and lifting you later.

Celia and I had been together a few months - she did not like me working at the Green Man - but enjoyed the status she had when she came there, which was not that often. I began to stop doing so many nights etc there - firstly giving Saturday nights up - and then the odd Friday night when she wanted to do "something special".

It was now 1982 and life was beginning to smile on me. I was working hard at the bank - on foreign exchange where I felt I really made a difference, and had made many new “work” friends. I also had the chance to join the Outward Payments section (OPs) where the Geography knowledge I had, began to come into the fore - yes the same geography that I had managed to fail at “O” level now began to play a major part in my life.

One major issue began to occur here at OPs - that would haunt me for the rest of my life - (yes the fear still remains….) we had what can only be classed as open plan toilets - while each cubicle is not separate as such the sides did not finish on the ceiling. It was here that if you needed the loo - and went into the cubicle within seconds of sitting yourself down objects would rain over the top. Toilet rolls not too bad - but it was the shoe brushes and soap that begin the nightmares - quickly followed by cups of water (fortunately the cups were made out of plastic). This still brings out sweats in me when I go into a loo and see that doors are not floor to ceiling!

Rentamob was now like a piece of the furniture at the Green Man - we made up the pool team, darts team and were there most evenings.

During 1982 I saw a few more bands - although truthfully more to Celia's liking - we saw Soft Cell and Culture Club, and also Queen. Queen really impressed me - what a show - although it did take us ages to get out of the Milton Keynes Bowl once it had finished… Boy George was different - never been to a concert where the item of clothing most thrown was training bras! Weird night but good band - hahahahahaha

The Green Man saw many wonderful nights - we had a few theme nights like Tequila ones - and Tia Maria, and a few acts also showed up. Most frightening night was when Judge Dread turned up. He was good - and a real down to earth guy - but the crowd was a little scary. He was booked for Saturday and normally I would not have been around - but the other DJ had taken a day off - so being number 1 I got the gig. Fooking frightening is all I can say. Everyone in the crowd was dressed almost exact the same - boots and braces with a skinhead haircut - even the ladies. I was really worried until Pat and Terry had a quiet word in one of the guy's ears. They basically told him - he was the leader of the gang (and no he wasnt called Gary)… - that any trouble and they would severely beat on him! Worked a charm - funny thing was at 11 when the Judge had just left - most of the skinheads came over and started requesting songs. My skinhead collection was just like the hairstyles a little sparse so I was a little worried. Surpringly they wanted dance music… weird. Good news point - JD signed my copy of his greatest hits album cover (yes still have it!!)

David and Sue decided to buy a house - not for David to live in - his parents would not have approved - but as an investment for their future. David was by now following in his father's footsteps and was taking his accountancy exams. The three nurses would share the house - paying a nominal rent and the bills etc. When they moved in - I helped Celia decorate her room - and so began the daily trip to East Ham/Manor Park borders where the house was. Because of her hours and mine - we did not spend every moment together - especially when she was on nights. Funny thing is there was a bus that left hers and went almost to the Green Man (actually i had to walk about half a mile - but it helped work up a thirst - so not much change for me there ;-)

After a few months together Celia decided to break it off saying that she needed to find herself - and went on holiday. When she returned, she was all over me - and wanted me back. So we were back together and one of the first things we did was book a holiday together. Thing was she wanted to go somewhere exotic - so we booked St Lucia in the Caribbean. In those days the cost of the holiday was almost £1000 each, my share being about a month's salary for me before tax!. We signed on the dotted line - and paid our deposit, and I arranged for a loan to pay the rest (well working for a bank has to have some perks….) we were back together but I did realise that things were different between us - yes we saw each other quite a bit - but someweeks it might be only on Saturday!

Four months before the holiday and I met another hurricane who would turn my life upside down - and her name was Anita. She had been a regular in the Green Man for ages, and truthfully had a soft spot for me. On one of the theme nights - for Pernod - she turned up dressed as a French maid - a tight black leathery dress - black seamed stockings and very high heeled shoes. She looked gorgeous. We got to chatting - we had chatted before but she spent nearly the whole evening up on stage, in the DJ booth with me. As the night ended I asked her if she fancied meeting me for a drink on the following Tuesday - and she said yes. I was staying at my Gran's flat at this point as she had gone back to South Africa, and had every thought of getting her back there if you get my drift.

Tuesday arrived and I got to the pub where we had arranged to meet - the closest one to the flat by the way, and although I was a little late having fallen asleep when I got home from work - she was still there - only not alone. Her friend Gill was there too. Curses! Don't get me wrong Gill is very appealing to the eye - but as I said I had planned to get Anita back to the flat. We enjoyed the evening have a drink or two - and then they had to leave to get home to Walthamstow.

We arranged to meet at the Green Man, on Thursday - and they turn up together again. Now when they joined us - yes Rentamob was monopolising one of the pool tables - Chappers immediately took a liking to Gill. In fact he made a bee line for us - and wanted an introduction. They got on like a house on fire - so much so that they arranged to meet the following night while I was working.

Friday comes around - and the crowd is as usual buzzing - and Anita is there - as are Gill and Chappers too - chatting. Come the end of the night - and as usual we want to continue, as it would be a while before the high that I was on would begin to fade. DJing gives me such a high - and it can take a few hours to recede! Paul says he is going back to his flat as he has some beer there (and it is closer than Gran's flat) and I agree to join him. The girls look at each other and decide to join us. Well I finally got Anita alone that night ;-)

It was the following morning that Chappers and I got a bit of a shock. As we were all sitting around enjoying a cup of coffee, with the radio playing Capital Radio's Saturday breakfast show. The DJ at the time (name escapes me now) had a segment where he would play three songs all with a similiar theme such as all girls names, or weather incidents and this morning the theme was an age. Sam Cooke, Chick Berry and Ringo Starr were the artists playing Only Sixteen, Sweet Little Sixteen, and You're Sixteen. Nice playlist you might think - but Anita and Gill look very embarrassed and start asking us how did we know? It turns out that although they had told us they were older they were in fact just 16! Did I feel like a cradle snatcher - actually no because both of the girls had shown a maturity beyond their years. Once it had sunk in we all had a laugh over the chances of the radio playing those songs that morning!  

Anita knows all about Celia, - and is not too happy - but as she puts it - she is willing to wait for me, taking what she can. Celia does not know about her - and when I am not with Celia I am with Anita.

About three months before we were to leave on Holidays Celia advised she had finally had enough and we were breaking up - she had not found out about my two timing - but we would go on holiday together. I was now free to be with Anita - the funny thing is in August I ask Anita to marry me - and she says yes. Another thing to note is that prior to my asking her we had been around her parents house - and her mum and dad returned from a night out - with two friends in tow called Ron and Alice, who I had not met previously. When I was introduced to them, Alice looked at me and then back to Anita and stated "ahh yes this is the man that Anita said she was going to marry". Could have knocked me down with a feather and Anita did turn bright red!  

October comes around and I am about to embark on the holiday - but don't really want to go without Anita. She tells me in no uncertain terms that I must go - after all is a chance of a lifetime - and it would be a massive financial loss.

So we leave Heathrow on a jumbo - flying to Bridgetown Barbados - and then onwards to St Lucia. Travel time is a little short of 10 hours, but time flies and we are there. We are staying in a great hotel - that is made up of loads of chalets very close to the beach. When I say close the sea is only about 15 yards (as the crow flies) from our room BUT you have to climb down a cliff about 60 yards to get to it! The Chalet whilst not being too posh is not too shabby either. We unpack - and fortunately there are two large single beds. Now don't get me wrong - but I was in a major relationship with a lady I intended to marry - and on holiday with someone else. First night we are so tired we just crash out.

I am awake with the dawn - and put on my trunks and go down to the beach. Spend a few hours just chilling - until others begin to arrive, so head back to the chalet. Celia has woken - but only just - and we go off for breakfast. Food good - although the bacon a little strange in taste. Basically it is American style bacon which is nothing like ours…..

Decide to go pool side - so back to the room and don our costumes. Celia looks good in her bikini, and prances around the room. We walk back to the pool - and grab some loungers and begin to soak up some rays.

By the pool there is a bar - and the barman arrives about 11:30 and as I feel it would be rude to ignore him - I go over and grab a beer. We begin to chat - and small world - his name is Gordon as well! About 12:30 - beer number 3 being sipped and he asks me to create today's cocktail! He asks someone every day to create something spectacular! He added white rum, vodka, gin and some fruit - and it was called smooth operator. I got to drink the first glass - free of charge!

One o'clock and Celia and I go for lunch, and head back to the chalet. Feeling a little sleepy I lay down. When I finish my doze (which was only about half an hour) she is asleep. I leave her a note and go down to the beach again. It is now very warm - but I take a lilo and just laze on the sea. Celia comes down about two hours later - and we spend an hour or so - chilling and laughing, and messing around on the lilo.

It begins to get dark at about 4:30 and by 5:30 it is almost pitch black! Everyone has left the beach - it is just the two of us. We head off back to the chalet - and grab cool showers and rub after sun cream over each other but in a platonic fashion.

Off and grab dinner - then back to the pool area for tonight's entertainment. Few more drinks at the bar - and I am feeling no pain. Walk back and crash out again - and fairly shortly later I am asleep.

For the rest of the holiday it is very much along similar lines - me going down to the beach while she sleeps, then brekkie, followed by the pool and making cocktails with Gordon (who does not have a day off the whole time we are there). Then short sleep in the afternoon - beach until dusk - dinner and dancing at the pool and falling into our own beds - twins not a double!

St Lucia is a great place and the holiday was good. On the last day because I am so brown - decide to tan without any lotion on. Major mistake!! It is nearly 110 degrees and the sun is really hot. I do not realise just how much damage is being done. We have an early evening flight - and when we get on the plane and begin to settle down for the 9 hour flight via Bridgetown again (yes it was quicker going home than coming out) - I touch one of my ears, and it appears to fall off. Actually the top layer of skin disintegrates and the next layer is dry but also uncomfortable to the touch. I touch the other ear and hey presto same again! No chance of listening to my Walkman now - so have to watch the film which is shown on a tiny screen about 15 feet away - with the sound booming out over the speakers! I should add by the time we get home my ears have shed at least three layers each - I look like the before for an advert for an anti-dandruff shampoo!

Back to the flight before take off - and the next bit of bad news - whilst we have been away the US have invaded Grenada - so when we arrive at Bridgetown all you can see for miles is American Military aircraft. Added to that we are not allowed to leave the plane at all so I cannot add any duty free to the luggage!

We arrive home and the first thing I do in contact Anita, who is waiting for me at my parents' place. This would not be the last time I saw Celia - but it was almost the last. We had had a good holiday - I had remained faithful to Anita, and now both Celia and I knew we were never again to be a couple.